Self Sabotage! I Know I've Done It!

Hi my name is Jennie, and I am my biggest enemy!

I'm sure many of us can say that we have sabotaged ourselves at one time or another. Whether it be a diet or a relationship, sometimes we are the ones standing in our own way of success.

There can be many reasons that we do this to ourselves: fear, low self-esteem, depression, the reasons are endless. The question is, do you want to continue being a victim of your own excuses or do you want to take control of your life!

I had a lot of success in school and the arts when I was younger. Unfortunately, the neglect of lack of parenting sent me down a dark road which I hit rock bottom hard! I slowly dug myself out of that hole after the birth of my daughter, but I had a lot of guilt I carried for a long time which made me feel as if I wasn't worthy of anything, including health.

I can tell you, it has taken me 6 years to build the habits I have today, and I still fall off!

I always tell my clients that it's not how you fall down but how you get back up again! It's true! Life is always going to happen. You're going to go out with friends and blow your "diet", one cheeseburger isn't going to derail your progress. A few cheeseburgers a week, well we can talk about that later!

When I talk about changing your thoughts I totally mean the way we talk to ourselves, the judgement we make upon other people, our outlook on life. All of our thoughts have a direct effect on our reality, and it's up to each of us as individuals to take care of our mental health and wellness. Behaviour is considered self-sabotaging when it creates an issue in your daily life and starts inhibiting your goals.

The most common self-sabotaging behaviours include procrastination, self-medicating with alcohol or drugs, comfort eating, and forms of self harm.

Awareness isn't always there, and many times a person will not recognize their behaviour until it is too late.

So, how do we stop our self-sabotaging behaviours?

Understanding Self-Sabotage:

Self-sabotage is when we engage in something that gets in the way of our goals and intentions. We may want something so badly, but are unable to accomplish it because our self-conscious self is fighting it for some reason.

Recognize Your Negative Habits:

Step one is recognizing your behaviours! Look at you life, habits, actions. What is it that's holding you back? What behaviours do you see patterns of? Is it procrastination? Negative thinking? The need for perfection? Figuring out what the habit is, will be key to breaking it.

Identify The Causes Of Your Behaviours:

Many times, our self-sabotaging habits are formed from our self-worth. If you don't feel you deserve to be successful, then you won't. We have unhealthy ways of coping with stress that can lead to self-neglect, avoiding social gatherings, depression and many other issues. Whether you've suffered some trauma or another set back, it is ultimately up to us, as an individual, to recognize and make the positive changes.

Take Time For Self Reflection:

It's time to look inward, and it will take a lot of soul searching and hard truths to uncovering what the reason is that you are inflicting these issues upon yourself. This will give you a better understanding of your motivations and goals. To be successful you need to learn from mistakes, restructure and grow.

Find Your Inner Positivity:

A lot of times it comes down to fear. Fear is what drives the sabotaging habits. Fear is what holds us back, whether or not that fear is rational. A negative internal dialogue forms a pattern of self-limiting thoughts, which needs to be replaced with positive thoughts of encouragement and reinforcement. Once you start recognizing these thought patterns, you can start to change the dialogue. No more "I can't" or "I'm not good enough". Practice gratitude and self affirmations!

Changing These Behaviour Patterns:

In the beginning, you may need to avoid certain triggers such as social gatherings, negative people, or difficult situations which cause us to react in ways we are trying to change. Look for ways to bypass, deflect or avoid these triggers until you have a healthy structure to handle the situations.

Make Meaningful Changes:

Identify the changes that you want to make. Prioritize them, and then p0ick one to start with! You cannot change everything overnight, and you don't want to cause more stress by changing your entire thought process all at once. This will always lead to setbacks, or shut down. These changes need to be small, manageable and maintainable. These will slowly build to create larger transformations in your life.

Set Goals:

Start small. Make goals that are measurable and attainable. Daily goals, weekly goals, and so on. Reward yourself as you reach these goals! Every step to change is a step towards a more successful life. No matter what success may look like to you!

Following these steps and being real with yourself is most important when it comes to changing these behaviours.